My Turn

I spent a total of about ten days in the hospital when Tim happened. For about five of those days, I was in a drug-induced coma.

After that Friday afternoon on which the slimy breathing tube was pulled out of my throat, I sat in bed, groggy and unfeeling. But by Saturday, I was already telling my mom, "I need to get out of here." Even before Tim, I didn't really like hospitals---they just reminded me of sickness and death. I found it hard to concentrate on those who I was visiting in the hospital because I was so saddened by the bed, the tubes, the left-over food on the table.

It was way worse actually experiencing it.

The next Wednesday, I was released. I could hardly get out of there fast enough (partially because I had to be pushed out in a wheelchair because of hospital policy and what-not). Even so---there was nothing more wonderful, more ultimately fantastic than driving in a car. Nothing more lovely than the trees, nothing more odd than the bright sunlight.

Keep in mind---I had only been awake in the hospital for about five days.

I came back home and tried to gain myself back. (Life Left Me Behind) I visited my track team on the Friday after coming home. Still slightly light-headed and dazed, I hugged them all and stared blankly at the track.

The next Monday, I went to school, ecstatic. I loved it. For the rest of that week, I was tired and weak; but soon enough, everything was back to normal. I was living a normal life. There were the occasional aches and pains and the occasional light-headedness. Otherwise, I was me again, and life was life again.



A while after Tim, Riley told me about the Ellsworth family. Their darling baby boy, Atley, was born with only half of his heart. Atley's family had to wait for a couple of weeks while he was getting open-heart surgery before they brought him home.

The other day, I saw a picture of Atley's scar from his surgery. I thought of my scar and texted Riley,

My scar is whimpy compared to his. My Tim is whimpy compared to his.

I then became more aware of Stephanie Nielson's condition through her sister, cjane's, blog.

Stephanie just got out of the hospital---again (a month-long visit). This is just one of her several hospital visits. And I....I've never had to go back to the hospital after Tim---only for checkups in a separate building.

What an eye-opening experience. Who knew that anything could be worse than having my Tim???

Well, I didn't. But I really needed to. And Atley and Stephanie helped me realize that although my Tim may be over, there are several other people out there who have chronic Tim-itis. Prayers and love must continually be sent their way. And now, more than ever, I know partially (slightly...maybe) how it's been for them.

Everyone rallied together to help me, and now, it's my turn to be the support group.