Missing

People have said this before: You never know what you have until it's gone. People have said it way too many times before. So let me suggest this one instead:

I love my sister.

I've never had anyone in my family leave my house before, not for an extended period of time, at least. A week. Maybe two weeks. But this was always with the confidence that, after a week, or maybe two weeks, they'd be back and lo and behold ALL IS WELL IN THE WELL.

In fact, more often than not for the past, what, eight years? There's been an extra person living with us--a cousin working here or schooling here or marrying here. For our family out of town, we were the perfect hotel (as long as they didn't mind some messes and lack of room service). So eight of us were always sitting at dinner or kneeling for prayer, and when somebody was gone, they were missed. And when our working-schooling-marrying-cousin left for good, the trite phrase at family prayer became: "It feels like someone's missing..." Because all of a sudden our eight was seven, which was the normal number of family members, but not for us.

Our family is young. A lot of my friends are the second youngest or youngest in their families, but we were always young. We've watched each other as we've grown. And we've occasionally forgotten that he was in fifth grade or she was in eighth grade, but it didn't matter, because Betty's sister was getting married and Maggie's brother was going on a mission. They were the old families. We were young.

When Lynzi graduated, it wasn't that weird. Remember? We'd watched her grow up. She was the oldest so it wasn't that weird to see her donned in blue and throwing her cap in the air. It wasn't that weird when she started going to ASU because she came home every night, even if it was after F.H.E. with her ward or something.

"It won't even be that different if Lynzi leaves for BYU," I said, "because she's gone all the time anyway."

But we didn't know that Lynzi was going to BYU until later this summer. What did I say then?

"It won't even be that different when Lynzi leaves for BYU because she's gone all the time anyway."

But I forgot what happened when our eight became seven! And when seven becomes six? I'd never felt that before.

It's not like when someone's gone for a week or two. I have my own bathroom. I only share the upstairs with my parents. Looking around at Lynzi's scant and disarranged room made me very, very sad.

Those people who use that cliche aren't really so bad. They only say it because it's true.You never know when you have an awesome, fun, righteous, kind, loving, good-exampling, stick-up-for-you kind of good older sister until she goes to BYU. You never know the extent of her awesomeness and goodness until she leaves, for reals.

Our only comfort is that she's in the hands of good ol' BYU, and Rachel Schlappi.

Thanks goodness it's only Utah.