...choices did not have to be choosed.
...we could have and do everything we wanted, without endless conflicts hampering our way.
...life were that easy...
I hate making decisions. I despise it. Especially when it requires imposing upon other people.
"Macey, what do you want?"
"What? Oh, I don't care. What are you getting?"
"It doesn't matter, I asked you what you wanted."
You see, my friends have learned---they force me to make decisions. For my own good. And I'm not bitter about that. (Well, maybe a little.)
But even those decisions that only really affect me drive me crazy. Will I like this? Should I do that? For the love of Mr. Fibby, is that the right thing to choose??
Life comes, though---shoves itself in your face---and with it comes decisions. Little ones and big ones. Like whether to do advanced classes at school or easy ones. Or one advanced class and one elective.
Instead of joining friends in block English and history this year, I chose AA English and French III.
THE BAD STUFF:
There is nothing on the walls of my English classroom, and I despise it. Our class is quiet. We don't have those ELP-y kids in our class--those crazy ones who I thoroughly enjoy. We don't do fun projects, and we ONLY AND I MEAN ONLY read the textbook. Since when was that the AA thing to do?? And those friends...the old and the new...they are not in my class. (I do have friends in my class, don't worry. Just not THOSE ones.)
THE GOOD STUFF:
I love French. I adore it. I feel like it is something that I am actually GOOD at. I'm actually confident in that class! Openly and fully confident. Let me tell you, I don't feel that way about many things that I enjoy doing. In fact, I believe French is my only hobby that I feel that way about. And the class itself may not be the best, but believe me, it is the BEST feeling in the entire world when I see that 100% on my test. And when my teacher commends me for my hard work. And when I think about going to France and coming back fluent. And when I dream of being the one in front of the class, teaching them how to say their "Merci"'s and "Je m'appelle"'s.
...I could have both.
...decisions were not so difficult.
But I cannot say "If only I had not chosen French."
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You know, I was thinking about this just yesterday! I was thinking about how you aren't in block but totally could be and how I kinda miss you in there. But THEN, I was thinking about French and how totally awesome it is that you love it so much. You see people excited about english, you see people who love choir or band, even auto or jewelry - but not many people are passionate about foreign language. Plus, I love seeing people get excited about something they love, it makes me really happy. So while I was sitting there, deep in 'Macey/french/block' thought, I came to the conclusion that I'm really glad you do french and really glad that you chose it over block. It makes me super happy that you love it so much.
ReplyDeleteAww, Sarah...you have no idea...how awesome you are.
ReplyDeleteI wish my French experience could be awesome. We are so behind in class because our teacher is yelling at certain students everyday and it is just chaos in that class because no one wants to learn in there. I guess I shouldn't say that because it all depends on how I make it. I can CHOOSE to make it a good experience...
ReplyDeleteBut it sure makes it much harder though when that happens. :P Someday we will go to France together and it will be SUPER! (in a French accent) :D
Oh, I know...there are STILL people like that in my French 3 class, and I don't understand what the heck they're in there for, because they don't care. They don't like French. And it's kindof lame of them to think that they just won't have to try.
ReplyDeleteBut YES! We shall go to France.
ya that is weird. Seeing as French TROIS is not even required..? yes!:D
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